It's been a long time.

Now I've finished school, I'm on study leave.

Currently watching Meera Syal on Self-Harm. I feel I ought to have written on every newspaper around the UK, "Watch This." Everyone needs to.
This is an issue that I'm very close to, and that I feel a lot for.
More on this will come when I manage to watch it the whole way through.

Charlotte x

Quis custodiet ipsos custodies?

I loved Watchmen, to say the least. And that's all I need to say. I'm not in the frame of mind to go deeper.

I'm really struggling knowing what to say, I don't know. I'm really low.

Painted something today. It's really pretty until you look deeper.

I feel ... fragile. So fragile. Like if you pushed too hard on my outer shell, it'd literally shatter.
But those pieces would get up and slash you to pieces.
So it's all good?

and then?

And everything is gone and everything turns to dust, golden in the fresh new sunlight that's come to illuminate and bring home the urgency.


:/ oral exams :/
I despise them, and they literally have just said to us;
"orals. hand in your presentations next lesson."

Like... WHAT ON EARTH? what presentations? how do I do it? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I don't know anything about half the topics in each subject.
I don't know how to talk about the others.

And I'm also hating history.
The others are so aloof; I make a dick of myself every lesson, I don't understand it. I'm struggling.


But I got a B in my january Media module; and I passed my first aid :)
eh.


None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me
I think that says it all really.

I'm off to have a chat, and think of music.


Night.

Charlotte.




Oh; and church? excommunicating the doctors and mother of a nine year old who was raped and impregnated by her stepfather because they allowed her to abort the babies who would probably have killed her?
Just plain fucking wrong and ignorant.
Who's watching you?

Procrastination

Perhaps my greatest skill.


Bonj!

I had a major high earlier; for no apparent reason, I was just skipping around all happy and not long after, I was exhauuusted.

I have a stupid bruise on my hand; a stupid swollen bite on my wrist, and a swollen face from the thing on my nose that could be another bite.


I can't be bothered anymore; I really can't.
I have no motivation. I have an essay due in first lesson tomorrow which I haven't looked at.
Why did Mussolini become prime minister in 1922?
Gee golly jeepers, I don't know. Was it the damned pixies again? Or chlorophyll? That was my favourite answer back in biology days.
I'm so itching to crack out my sarcastic, "I really don't give a crap" answers; but as one of the two year 13s in a year 12 class... where the year 12s are terrifying... I don't think I have the cojones. They wouldn't get my humour. People rarely do :)


I have a couple of stuuuupid girls trying to bother me but I don't care :) Maybe I can sabotage their first aid assessment tomorrow.
How do you do the recovery position again? :/


Arh,
Au revoiiir.

Scarlett.

44th.

Yes, the 44th President of the United States of America was inaugurated today.

Barack H. Obama.



I was watching the ceremony with wide eyes and a wider smile.

I'm ecstatic that I am reaching adulthood and discovering my political identity at a time when the USA has just inaugurated its first black president.



So... if we are to believe some people, Hell has frozen over.

Imagine this.
A man has been elected as President of the United States of America, who might not 50 years ago have been served in a local restaurant because of his colour.

He would've had to sit at the back of a bus, go to a separate school, use a different drinking fountain.

Some people would have had him killed for his courage.

But today he stood in front of the White House, listening to Aretha Franklin singing before he was sworn in as the Chief of a country which has so much influence.



I don't claim to know everything, or indeed anything, but I just wanted to share some thoughts on today.



I've been excited all day. So have a number of my fellow students.



I watched all afternoon - the speeches, the dedications. I was unable to tear my eyes away for a moment.

The streets were full of people. I could see written in their faces a world of joy and hope. I couldn't believe the crowds. Washington's streets were full to bursting.



He has been built up to icon status already - indeed it seems for every person proclaiming his links to terrorism (Because of his middle name, and his surname. Idiots.) there are many more proclaiming him to be even higher than a politician.



You might ask, as a British teenager, why I care about America's new President? It's not happening over here, after all.

I for one have never felt so magnetised to a politician. His charisma, his voice. His emotion.

He has a LOT to live up to, because people have built him upon such a pedestal, and he will find it hard. But I believe in change. It's a hoary cliche, I know. I am excited and I hope and I'm sure that he will live up to his own personality.



And another quote from his speech now, to close my rambling, hero-worshipping, pretty much pointless blog:

We will extend our hand if you will will unclench your fists.


That made me smile.


Goodnight, I have to now go and revise.



Charlotte.

standing completely still.

I don't get it, I really don't.
I was soaring, smiling, and I really meant it.
In a heartbeat it was gone.

Left earlobe is now 10mm and I now have a tunnel in it. It's metal and therefore itchy, but I suppose it beats the taper, which was getting knocked so much, my ear bled a lot.
Only thing is, because it is a tunnel rather than a plug, it's re-heaaally noticeable. So I may get in all manners of trouble.

I've got nothing interesting to say, sorry.
Exam Wednesday. At least I've been going to the lessons :)

Hasta luego,

Chrltt.

Bonjour.

This Solemn Tree is me writing about anything I wish, when I wish. Because sometimes I just need to let my mind take over for a while, and spill my thoughts through my fingertips.

Someone said to me today,
"Charlotte, your eyes always look thoughtful. You're always thinking."

Which is true. My brain goes a mile a second on at least ten thoughts at any given time - so I need somewhere to deposit the thoughts. I wrote 3000+ words once, because they just wouldn't stop. I don't think I'll ever be able to do that again.

The name This Solemn Tree came from a piece of writing I did on a drawing. I have recently become obsessed with drawing trees, because I can go on forever in the branches.

This blog is going to be me and my thoughts; don't label me an egotist. I don't ask you to read it at all.

I'm now going to bed.

Au revoir,

Charlotte.